


ENTIRE TEAM IS BABIES

by PrincessRainbowPastel



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Babies, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Medic is a surprisingly good dad, Mutual Pining, Parenthood, and like really good with kids, that’s canon and nobody can tell me otherwise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:14:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25884904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincessRainbowPastel/pseuds/PrincessRainbowPastel
Summary: After the RED base respawn goes haywire, the entire team gets turned into babies all except for the Medic and the Hunter. It's up to them to take care of their former teammates until they find a way to get them back to normal. It's just 8 babies and 2 clueless mercenaries...what could go wrong?
Relationships: Medic (Team Fortess 2)/Hunter (Team Fortress 2), Medic (Team Fortress 2)/Original Character(s), RED Medic/Original Character(s), RED Medic/RED Hunter
Comments: 6
Kudos: 12





	1. Technical Difficulties

‘God, I hope Medic isn’t too busy right now. I don’t want to make him late...but ugh damn this is painful!’ Hunter thought as she walked into the waiting room of the Medic’s lab.

Today at the RED base, the technicians were going to be testing the respawn area just as they do every month. Nothing usually went wrong during these tests and some of the other mercs (mainly Scout) believe that the monthly respawn tests are just a waste of time. However, these tests were actually very important. The team and technicians of the base needed to be sure that the respawn worked properly so nothing could go wrong when in combat. God only knows what would happen if the respawn had a bit of faulty wiring one day during a deadly battle.

Hunter noticed that Medic’s queuing sign wasn’t on, so he currently didn’t have any patients that needed medical attention. With that in mind, Hunter politely knocked on the swinging lab door.

“Erm, doctor? Are you free?” Hunter asked as she slightly pushed the door open, hoping she wasn’t bothering him while he was in the middle of something.

“Ah, Hunter! Of course! What can I help you with?” He asked enthusiastically as he turned to face the doors.

Thankfully, Medic was only tidying up his working area, so he wasn’t really that busy at the moment. Hunter blushed, feeling a little silly about the odd situation she was in. She shouldn’t even need Medic’s attention since it’s a ceasefire day, yet here she was.

“Erm, well, I had a bit of a misfire at the shooting range with my crossbow and erm...I need healing, heh.” Hunter bashfully admitted as she walked into the lab to reveal to the medic the sharp arrow lodged into her abdomen. Medic’s eyes widened at the sight of the injury and immediately ushered Hunter over to operating table, so he could get the arrow out and heal her up without losing too much blood.

“You must be more careful with your weapons, fräulein.” Medic gently reprimanded her as he worked on trying to carefully get the arrow out of her abdomen without hurting her too much.

Normally, Hunter would be shocked that someone called her out on her real gender, but since Medic is...well, the medic, he was the first on the team to find out. He promised not to reveal her secret to the rest of the team, though and honestly wasn’t very surprised to find out that she was a female either. She made a bit obvious at times, but hid it well enough behind her fake deep voice and her antisocial behavior to come across as an effeminate male.

“I-ah! I am, I just made a mistake. AH!” Hunter explained as Medic pulled out the arrow. He immediately pulled out his medigun machine and directed it towards Hunter’s wound to heal it. “Yes, but one mistake around here can cost you your life.” Medic reminded her as he watched her wound heal immediately.

“True, but that’s why we have the respawn...speaking of, we should probably get going. Don’t wanna be late for testing.” Hunter said with a slight smirk as she hopped off of the operating table and fixed her shirt. “Right, let us get going.” Medic replied as he moved the medigun machine out of the way and followed Hunter out of the lab.

XXX

It wasn’t too long until the two mercenaries reached the respawn point. When they neared the entrance, they noticed a sign on the door that read ‘DO NOT ENTER. TESTING IN PROGRESS.’ This only meant that they were too late and couldn’t engage in the testing process.

Hunter sighed and rubbed her arm. It was technically her fault that she and Medic couldn’t attend the testing and she felt kinda guilty for making him late just because she made a stupid mistake. “I’m really sorry, doctor. I didn’t mean to make us late. You were right, I should’ve been more careful.” She apologized. Medic just shrugged and casually crossed his arms. “Oh, it’s fine! It’s just another respawn test. It’s nothing to worry your sweet little kopf over, fräulein.” He reassured her with a smile and a wink. Hunter smiled back and giggled, taking note of the wink he just gave her. She wasn’t quite sure if it was meant to be flirty or just casual, but she just decided it was best not to overthink it.

Just as Hunter was about to speak, attempting to make light conversation while they waited for the rest of their team, the lights started flickering all over the base. The two mercenaries looked around in confusion until a bright light shining through the respawn area doors caught their attention. They both squinted as they watched the light get brighter and brighter until all of the power shut down throughout the base.

It was completely dark now (despite the afternoon sunlight coming in from the skylights of the base) and dead silent. Hunter and Medic stood there, stunned from the events that just took place. “What just happened?” Hunter asked with utter confusion. “I have no idea.” Medic replied with the same amount of pure confusion.

All of the sudden, the power came back on with a soft hum and the base was lit up once again, but then (as if this situation couldn’t get any more strange) the mercenaries heard a faint squealing noise from inside the respawn area, then a faint cry not unlike a small child’s.

“Did you hear that or am I just in shock of what just happened?” Hunter asked Medic as she looked around, wondering if there was anyone else around them. “Nein, I can hear it too...” Medic replied as he stared at the respawn area’s entrance. Hunter looked over at it as well then the two mercenaries look at each other as if to ask each other the same question: Should we go in?

Medic and Hunter hesitantly went for the doors and opened them with caution, unsure of what awaited them inside or if their teammates were even alive on the other side. The small noises seemed to get louder as they opened the door to find...

“BABIES?!” Hunter exclaimed in shock and absolute confusion.

That’s right, the 8 RED team mercenaries we’re now infants crawling around on the floor and drooling everywhere. This is the last thing either merc would expect after what just happened, but Medic didn’t seem too bothered by the situation. In fact, he found this to be, “Very interesting!”

“Interesting?! This is insane! Our teammates are a bunch of babies now!” Hunter exclaimed, positively flabbergasted with everything. Medic crouched down to observe the baby mercenaries as some crawled over to him, wanting his attention. “In all of my years working in this base I have never seen a respawn backfire quite like this before. I mean, their clothes have respawned into almost tiny versions of their uniforms as if this were planned. This gives me the sneaking suspicion that a BLU team member may be behind this, but we can’t be for certain until the technicians give us a report.” Medic observed as he studied the babies who were babbling in front of him and trying to grab onto his uniform. “You mean the technicians aren’t even at the base?” Hunter asked in surprise. She always figured the technicians had their own specific area in the base. It was a pretty huge building after all and there were areas even she hasn’t been to yet. “Nein, the technicians are in another location. I’m sure they know all about this and are on their way to fix this. In the mean time, I have a feeling we are both going to have to-“ Medic explained before Hunter finished his sentence. “Babysit?” She asked. “Precisely.” Medic replied as he stood back up.

Both of the mercenaries observed the group babies who were once their grown teammates. They were all practically grown up babies to begin with, so maybe this won’t be so difficult. Two mercenaries and eight babies. How hard can this be?


	2. Adventures In Babysitting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Medic and Hunter begin their little adventure in babysitting 8 babies at once. This probably won’t end well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah yes! It’s finally here! After an eternity, I finally finished chapter 2! Lmao! I also realized that I haven’t really emphasized Medic’s accent in the story, so I decided to do that for this chapter. I’m gonna fix chapter 1 and make sure I put his German accent in that one too. Anyways, hope you guys enjoy!

“What?! You can’t just leave me alone with eight babies!” Hunter exclaimed as she held baby Scout who was pulling on her hood. Meanwhile, the other babies were crying, babbling, and crawling all over the place, all of them wanting Hunter’s attention as well. Medic was heading back towards the base before Hunter’s sudden outburst and immediately turned around.

“I vill be back shortly. I am just going to order supplies for zhe babies, zhen I vill help you vhen I return. Just keep zhem busy. Zhey shouldn’t be zhat hard to handle. Zhey’re only babies after all.” Medic explained before finally exiting the respawn area, leaving poor Hunter all alone with the babies. 

Hunter sighed and sat down on the floor with all of the babies. They immediately started crawling over to her and baby Scout. She put Scout back down on the floor with the others as she put her hood down and took off her mask.

Now that her teammates were a bunch of babies, she didn’t really have a need to disguise herself, especially since Medic was the only adult on the base who knew her real gender. 

Scout started to whine, making grabby hands towards Hunter for her to pick him back up and hold him.

“Scout, darling, I can’t hold you all day.” Hunter told him as if he could actually understand what she was saying. Scout continued to wine until he started crying which then set off a chain for all of the babies to start crying.

“No, no, no! It’s okay! Don’t cry!” Hunter exclaimed with a panicked and anxious tone. She looked around to see if there was anything she could use to get them to stop crying, but there were only medicine and ammo cabinets and little cubbies where each merc kept their belongings and weapons. No toys, no books, no puppets. Nothing a baby would find interesting. Hunter then had a great idea. She put her forefingers and thumbs together and started to sing “The Itsy Bitsy Spider” song with all of the little hand movements. This immediately caught the infants’ attentions and all of them started to settle down and watch Hunter. Hunter continued to sing different nursery songs with hand movements to keep the babies entertained until Medic returned. 

Eventually, Medic did return just as Hunter finished singing another nursery song. “Oh, thank god you’re back! I’m running out of nursery rhymes.” Hunter exclaimed as she stood back up. That immediately caused chaos to stir once again as the group of babies started whining and crying. “I see zhey are getting quite fussy. Let us move zhem back inside zhe base and ve’ll sort all of zhis out, shall ve?” The Medic proposed as he bent down to pick up 4 of the babies while Hunter picked up the other 4. Medic then led Hunter to the recreation room. There wasn’t much in there except a pool table, a pinball machine, a jukebox, a poker table, one of those “Ciggy Stop” vending machines, and a little area in the corner with a sofa and a television. Both decided this would be a good spot for them to play while they tried to sort everything out. 

Hunter and Medic put the babies on the rug in front of the sofa in the corner then sat down as they watched them. “I don’t know how the hell this is going to work...I mean we’re really outnumbered here.” Hunter remarked as she rested her elbows on her knees and her chin on her hands. “Do not worry, fräuline. Zhey are only babies! Zhis vill be as easy as-“ A sudden thump was heard outside of the rec room before Medic could finish his sentence. “Ah! Zhat must be zhe supplies I ordered! Zhat vas fast!” Medic exclaimed with a smile as he got up from the couch and went out to the rec room, Hunter following behind him. Hunter stood in the doorway of the rec room as she stared in awe at a giant crate of what she assumed was baby supplies as Medic signed the papers from the delivery guy.

“What in the world is that!?” Hunter asked in confusion. “A care package!” Medic replied with glee. He then took the crow bar that the delivery guy had left him and opened up the crate as a bunch of baby supplies spilled out of it into a large pile. “Zhis should be enough supplies to care for 8 babies for zhe time being.” Medic stated. “Medic, there are enough supplies here to care for dozens of babies. Don’t you think this is a bit much?” Hunter asked him as she picked up a rubber ducky that had tumbled her way. “Vell, it’s better to be safe zhen sorry. For all ve know, zhey could be stuck like zhis for months!” Medic told her as he started organizing the supplies on a nearby table. Hunter’s eyes widened in fear. “M-Months?!” She stuttered. “Ja, but I highly doubt zhat it vill take zhat long. I received word zhat zhe technicians vill be arriving in a few days, so I’m sure zhey vill find a way to fix zhe respawn quickly.” Medic explained as he continued to organize the supplies. Hunter relaxed a bit after hearing that then decided to help Medic with some of the supplies, bringing some of the toys over to the babies so they could play. 

Hunter sat on the floor with the babies as she watched them play with the toys she had brought over for them. They all seemed very content despite the fight between Spy and Scout over a stuffed teddy bear. Just as Medic was putting away the last of the supplies, little Heavy started to cry.

“Oh, darling, what’s wrong?” Hunter asked as she picked him up and patted his back softly. Heavy’s cry then triggered the rest of the babies to start crying just like before which caused Hunter to begin to panic once again.

Medic came into the rec room and saw that Hunter was struggling with all of the crying babies. “I don’t know what happened! They were fine a moment ago!” Hunter explained as she continued to rock Heavy and pat his back. “Zhey must be hungry. Ve usually have lunch around zhis time.” Medic informed her as he looked at the clock on the wall. “Fortunately, I zhought ahead and prepared a few bottles just in case.” Medic told her as he picked up little Soldier and held him. “Come along, kleiner. It’s time to fill your little tummy! Yes it is!” Medic cooed as he tickled baby Soldier’s chubby belly. Soldier had calmed down once he was picked up and giggled while happily kicking his stubby little legs. 

Hunter smiled as she watched Medic interact with the babies while they fed them bottles of baby formula. He was so kind and gentle to them as he cooed at them and made them smile and giggle. It was quite a drastic difference in behavior compared to when he is on the field or operating in his lab. He’s usually very harsh and somewhat erratic, but now he’s so calm and caring. Hunter found it nice to see Medic’s true soft side. Sure, he had a soft spot for his doves and other animals in general, but she’s never seen him act this way towards people before.

“Vhat a good boy! You finished your whole bottle!” Medic bubbled to little Sniper before putting him over his shoulder to burp him.

Both mercenaries were almost done feeding the babies. Hunter was still finishing up feeding little Spy while Medic continued to burp Sniper. The rest of the babies who had been fed played on the floor with the pots and pans in the kitchen cabinets.

Medic was just about done burping Sniper until he spit up on his shoulder. Hunter honestly expected him to get a little upset, but she was surprised to hear him chuckle. “You filled your tummy a bit too much didn’t you, kleiner?” Medic asked him with a soft smile as he held Sniper in his arms and used his bib to wipe the puke off of his mouth and chin. Medic continued to coo at him while he wiped his face as Spy finally finished his bottle and began to fuss. Hunter put the bottle down and started to burp him as well. Medic then went over to the babies that were playing on the floor and picked a few of them up, carrying them in his big, strong arms. “Alright zhen, kinder. It’s time for a nice nap.” He cooed at them as he carried them off to the rec room, leaving Hunter with Spy and a few other babies.

Eventually, Hunter had finished burping Spy (unfortunately not before getting spit up on as well) just as Medic was coming back into the kitchen. “I see he had too much to drink as well?” Medic asked Hunter with a smirk as he took Spy away from her and wiped his little chin. “Unfortunately. Though, I don’t know how, seeing as he didn’t even finish his bottle.” Hunter sighed as she tried to wipe the vomit stain off of her red hood. Medic simply chuckled as he collected the rest of the babies. “Vell, you never know with babies.” He informed her. “Heh, you can say that again.” She replied with a chuckle. 

“I’ll clean up in here. Let me know if you need my help.” Hunter informed the Medic who started to leave the kitchen. 

“I’m sure ve vill be alright. Zhank you, Hunter.” Medic then left with the rest of the babies as Hunter began to clean up the kitchen a bit.

XXX

Hunter eventually finished tidying up the kitchen and decided to make herself and Medic some sandwiches for lunch. When the Hunter entered the rec room she found Medic kneeling down on the floor tucking baby Scout into a little bassinet. In fact, there were 8 bassinets set out in a semi circle in front of the couch with each baby napping peacefully, or playing quietly with a little soft toy, or just chewing on their toes like baby Soldier was.

Medic looked at Hunter and smiled as she passed him a plate with his sandwich on it. “Ah, zhank you, Hunter! I vas just starting to get hungry myself.” He said quietly, so he wouldn’t wake the babies who were napping. Hunter sat down next to him on the old couch and started to eat her sandwich.

“Y’know, maybe this won’t be as hard as I thought it was going to be. I mean, I thought this would be awful, but it’s a lot easier with someone by your side.” Hunter reckoned after taking a bite of her lunch. 

“I vas going to tell you before zhat it would be much easier with zhe two of us, but I’m glad you finally caught on.” Medic responded with a smile. Hunter smiled back as the two ate lunch together in peace while the babies in front of them all started dozed off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I literally had no clue how to end this chapter or what I’m going to be writing about for chapter 3 lmao! I have an idea, but it’s gonna be a struggle to lead up to it. I’ll try not to take forever writing it. I still have a lot of tf2 fics lined up, so I might be working on those a little more. But yeah, hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!


End file.
